OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”
AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT
AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH
AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE
Yeah, I giggled. A lot.
I want somewhere to rest my head after a long days work, a long day of thinking. A lap. I want a hand to kiss and to nuzzle up to when I decide that nothing else really matters but you. I want to push the oceans with you. I want a sky to fall into, a sky with the lightest blues encompassing the deepest iris I could see. I want to feel something unfelt to me in half a year. I want to feel something not fleeting, something deserved, something derived from the moments when Im not awake. I want to have a warm bed before I have even touched it. I want to have something to take care of myself. I want to have something to think about, so that I don’t have to think about myself. I simply want someone to hold on to.
You know, I haven’t really talked to anyone in a long time. I really miss talking to someone about things that actually fucking matter. I haven’t had something like that in a long fucking time. It’s rather upsetting that I haven’t even had anything CLOSE to a deep conversation with someone. I probably won’t for a long time. I’m stifled.
I miss love. I miss the feelings it brings. I miss the romance. I certainly don’t miss the guessing, the wondering, the worrying. I don’t miss feeling like the other person constantly wanted me to change as if there was something wrong with me that made me not worth the time and effort.
Maybe Saturday I can have a deep conversation. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe I dont know the future and I am going to be very happy very soon.
If I had absolutely nothing to offer you, would that be ok?